starry eyed
by billiespiper
Summary: I feel like I've seen you, somewhere. BeckJade.


_starry eyed_

_by layla_

. . .

She smirks, pushes out a hand with chipped nail polish.

"I'm Jade. Nice to meet you."

He smiles sadly, struggling to mask the pain in his voice.

"Hi. I'm Beck."

. . .

Her fingers find his amidst the jungle of wires and the plastic tubes, all connecting to her body.

"I'm scared, Beck."

It hurts to see her like this, weak and fragile and hidden beneath the sterile white bedsheets.

"Its gonna be okay babe." The lie rolls off his tongue easily, eyes not betraying him.

"Will I remember you when I come out?"

He hesitates, not letting go of her gaze.

"Yeah. Yeah, you will."

Jade looks down, studying the IV needles buried in the skin of her hand. Beck can see her biting the inside of her cheek and trying not to cry.

"And if I don't?"

It hurts to swallow the lump in his throat, but he does it anyway.

"I'll remember you. And I'll find a way for you to remember me."

By now, she has given up on biting the tears back. They stream quickly down her cheeks, sliding off her nose and dripping onto her chest.

"Don't cry, baby." Beck whispers, pulling her by her arm until she's pressed up against him. "Please don't cry."

He can feel the pressure building under his jaw, wetness welling in his eyes.

"Promise?" Jade's voice is hoarse and cracking. "Promise you won't forget me?"

(like he could ever forget _her_)

"I promise."

Someone clears their throat at the door, Jade's doctor leaning against the frame with dead, tired eyes.

"Jadelyn West, the operating room is ready for you, Nurse Monica will wheel you down now."

She looks up at Beck with those vulnerable, raw eyes. He smiles back- tight and forced.

Leaning down, he presses his lips to hers softly, enjoying her pure taste for possibly the last time.

"I love you, baby. I love you so much." His voice hitches, and he hiccups, a precursor to the sobs making their way up his chest.

"I love you too, Beck."

The nurse arrives, and guides Jade into the wheelchair.

"Don't forget, Beck." She calls without turning around. "Don't forget your promise."

He doesn't answer- but she wasn't expecting him to anyway. She knows and he knows that even if she comes out of the room with a blank mind, he will always remember.

. . .

Caller I.D.- Jade

Time- 10:52 p.m.

"Hey babe, what's up?"

"_Is this Beck_?"

"Uh, yeah. Why do you have my girlfriend's phone?"

"_You're listed as the girl's emergency contact_."

"Is Jade alright? What's going on?"

"_Can you come to the Cedars Sinai hospital to meet us?_"

"Yeah, of course. Please, just tell me what happened."

_**Pause**_.

"_Car crash. Drunk driver barreled into your girlfriend and her parents. They were dead on impact_."

"And Jade?"

"_She's unconscious but she has little to no injuries. Very lucky. We'll see you at the hospital?_"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there."

. . .

Three days after Jade wakes up, her doctor- a man with hard set lines in his face and coal black bags drooping beneath his eyes- enters the room to talk about a new treatment. They call it 'phenomenal' and 'life changing'.

They say that Jade suffered immense trauma from witnessing her parent's death and that unless she suddenly accepts it, she needs those memories wiped.

Beck just stares blankly at him, confusion etched onto his face.

"So what are you suggesting?"

"We've discovered a breakthrough in medicine- it's a simple procedure. More like a complex version of hypnosis. It's an easy cut and adjust procedure. Our doctors are highly professional and they know exactly where to tug in order to erase the memories. There's only a slim margin of error- a seven percent chance that something will go wrong."

"And what will happen if something does go wrong?" Beck asks, lips pressed together in a tight line. He looks over at Jade, but her face reveals nothing. She has that omnipresent apathetic look lingering in her eyes. But the fact that they're bloodshot and wide open betrays that she's even more terrified than he.

"Her memory will be wiped. But don't worry- something rarely goes wrong."

Beck reaches over and curls his fingers around Jade's in a vice grip.

"We'll think about it."

. . .

"I feel like I've met you before." Jade murmurs, sticking her tongue out to catch a stray drip of mint chip ice cream. Beck bites his lip hard to keep from crying.

"Deja vu?" She shrugs before bringing the cone to her mouth again.

"No, this is more... Intense." He studies her, the way her eyelashes fringe over her cheekbones and cast tiny shadows onto her fair skin. She pauses, twisting the rings on her fingers in full circuit. "Why are you so nice to me?" She asks, finally tilting her head up to look at him with those big, blue eyes. "I'm a total stranger."

He almost whispers 'It's cause I promised you', but instead he just smiles at her.

"Dunno. You seem different than most girls. You're unique."

It's funny how this is what he said to her, the first time around.

Jade smiles, and that look is so alien, so foreign on her that he cringes.

"Something wrong?" Her voice is pure curiosity, swelling with honey.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

She reaches over to thread her fingers through his. Her hands are sticky with mint chip, but so warm that he ignores it.

"Thanks for the ice cream." She grins at him, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

Don't cry, Beck.

"No problem, Jade."

. . .

On their fifth date- their _first_ fifth date- they go to a restaurant in Santa Monica, driving past the hills and the pretty pink houses. He's reserved a table for two on a deck overlooking the ocean. They order seafood and in a bold move, he leans over to grab her hand.. She blinks at him, but doesn't flinch or move away.

"You know, Beck." She begins, wrapping her fingers tightly around his. "You only get one chance with me. If you break my heart, you're done."

Beck smirks- he already knew this, of course.

"And what if you break my heart?"

Jade blanches at his point blank attitude.

"Then you'll just have to fucking deal."

He laughs at the unfairness of the situation, but instead of saying anything, he pecks her on the lips quickly.

Jade freezes for a moment, stares at him, then her lips split into a telltale smirk.

"Not bad, Oliver."

. . .

"Beck Oliver?"

Beck stands, tugging at the ends of his shirt to smooth it down

"That's me." When the doctor remains silent, he bites his lip. "How's Jade, is she alright?"

"She's stable, but we have to wait until she wakes up to determine whether or not the surgery was successful. She should be awake soon though, would you like to stay with her?"

"Of course."

He follows the doctor into Jade's sterile hospital room. Everything is eye-burning white, from the walls to the lights to the sheets.

When he sees her he winces- she just looks so fragile buried in the sheets. There's a cut beneath her hair, lining all the way around her skull.

He takes a seat by her bed and brings her hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles one by one.

Jade's eyes blink open slowly, adjusting to the harsh light automatically. He can see her pupils shrinking and growing as she attempts to get rid of the glare.

"Where am I?" Her voice is groggy, heavy with sleep.

"The hospital, babe. Surgery, remember?"

She twists her head to look at him, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes.

"Who are you?"

And with three words, his heart effectively shatters.

. . .

When Tori finds him sitting on a curb in front of Hollywood Arts, she immediately drops to sit next to him.

"You okay, Beck?"

He doesn't respond immediately, just stares at his hands.

"She doesn't remember me, Tor." The immense empathy in her eyes is overwhelming. "They messed up. How can she not remember me?"

"The doctors?" Tori pats his hand gently. Her soft skin has kind of a calming affect on him.

"Yeah. The fucking idiot doctors."

She grimaces sadly, rubbing his arm.

"I'm sure that if you just make her remember- you know, like reliving when you first met- things will be back to normal soon."

Beck gnaws on his lip, sighing heavily.

"But I've just lost all this progress with her. I mean, do you know how long it took me to have her go out with me? And what if she doesn't even like me anymore? What if she's completely different? I mean, I know Jade West. Snarky, bitchy, sarcastic Jade West. I don't even know this new person, what if-"

"Beck, stop. Jade will always be Jade. Jade, your girlfriend. You love her and I know things will work out for you guys."

He sighs, running a hand through his floppy black hair.

"Thanks, Tori." She smiles and stands up, extending a hand to help him.

"I promise, it will be fine."

. . .

"Do you think we knew each other? Like in another life?"

Beck grinds his teeth together, speaking through them.

"I don't know, babe. Maybe."

This new Jade is so polite and sweet and good. Her hair is a monotone, no streaks. Pink and purple adorn her body and her make up is light.

It makes him sick.

. . .

"Beck! Hurry up, we're gonna be late!"

"I'm coming, baby! Stop running, we'll be fine!"

"I can't believe you got tickets to a Cuddlefish concert. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Now hurry!"

"Don't run in to the street babe, you're going to- JADE!"

. . .

"We're not giving her the surgery again."

The doctor glares at him, eyes hard and cold.

"Do you know how dangerous it is for her to live-"

"I said she's not doing it. I'm not risking you idiots messing up again and loosing her."

The doctor hesitates, running his fingertips over the patient file.

"You're making a big mistake, boy."

Beck sneers at him, not giving a response.

. . .

She's in that hospital bed again, lost under tubes and wires.

"Am I going to be okay?" Her voice is so vulnerable and small.

"Yeah, you are."

"Promise?"

His jaw is getting heavy again, tears lining the rims of his eyes.

"I promise."

/

**author's note: well hey there guys. **

**it's been a while! but yeah, i'm working on macabre fairytales… i promise! andré is really hard to write :P **

**i met ariana grande! i have pictures on my blackberry. crackberry for life. **

**i actually wrote this on my blackberry. all of it. on a four hour car trip home. so i apologize for formatting errors or spelling, grammar, etc. **

**byee :D**


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